Sometimes I pity myself for being ‘too much’ in many things. I’m a big jerk! What I have done? I treated him like other person and spoken to him with displeasing words. I hate the things he has done, but I know it’s not a big deal but I kept on making a big shit out of it! Before, whenever I’m mad, I keep on nagging him even in simple things. But I’ve changed and no naked eyes have seen that. He always says that I don’t trust him, but if he only knew how much ‘trust’ I gained, maybe and maybe he will thank me. I know I’m like a stupid ass blogging such a complicated story and no one even ‘you’ knows what the hell am I talking about.
Okay, I’m mad because you didn’t do the things I want you to do. You acted again as if nobody’s waiting for your txt or call. I was trying to call and txt you, but no reply. I let you go with the boys but all I want you to do me a favor - inform me “what do you do”, I’ve waited hours for your ‘goodnight’ but didn’t txt me until 12pm the next day. I have no idea where you are, I have no idea if you slept in A’s house or you went home. We compromised a lot of things over and over, but still happen all the time. Same here, I know I promised you a lot but I’m still acting like an idiot. I hurt you most of the time when I’m mad, saying bad things as if you have done nothing ‘good’ at all.
I know, what I have said yesterday (are) too much and I am sorry about it. I treated you one of ‘them’ and I’m so sorry. You know what? I think its God’s will, you deserve better than me and I don’t deserve you. I hope that, I’m just saying these things because there’s still bitter inside of me. It’s a big lie if I say “I’m not mad” anymore and I don’t love you. If you’ll gonna ask me what I wish for – I wish I can take the situation and continue moving on without you. Why? Coz I know, even if these things will be settled, I’m afraid that I might hurt you all over again and I don’t want you to spend your time for nothing.
- I’ll treasure the 6 years swity. It will take too much time to get over :’(
